Cross Cultural Dating Tips

Quick Tips for Cross Cultural Dating

Yes, dating someone from a different culture is not always easy. My goal as a couples counsellor is to help my clients decide what is best for them. The following suggestions for cross cultural dating may help those in mixed relationships:

  • Educate yourself about your partner’s background. Learn about and accept his/her culture, cuisine, fashion, religion and language. Learn to properly enunciate common phrases (such as hello, goodbye and thank you), as well as religious expressions and terms of endearment from your partner’s culture.
  • Since most ethnic people in the West have experienced racism, becoming sensitive to the issues and empathizing with your partner helps to validate your ethnic partner as an equal―something that is very much needed in a romantic relationship.
  • The ethnic partner must disassociate from his or her cultural take on patriarchy and separate it from the equality that needs to be present if he or she wants to date someone Caucasian.
  • Educate your respective families about the positive aspects of Western and Eastern cultures. Influence families away from the ‘our race versus their race’ mentality, and toward looking at everyone as part of the ‘human race’.
  • Postpone having sex with the ethnic man until he’s ready to introduce you to his parents. Refraining from sex (difficult as it may be) will increase his respect for you as a potential life partner.
  • When you finally meet your ethnic partner’s parents, present yourself as your partner’s ‘friend’ (as opposed to boy/girlfriend). This will be less threatening to them, and make it easier for them to get to know you better. By enabling the parents to become acquainted with you, you will help them eradicate any negative stereotypes that they may have about your race.

Of all the many factors (age, education, beauty, background) that determine who you would like to date and eventually marry, commitment to the relationship is pivotal. Without it, you are living in a glass house at the bottom of a rockslide; with it, you luxuriate in the moonlight, protected by the walls of the Taj Mahal.

* No real names have been used in this article.

If you like what you’ve just read and want to learn more, you can order Dating the Ethnic Man:Strategies for Success

Get a Free Consultation with Dr. Sahukhan by email or call 604.639.4443

Faizal Sahukhan, Ph.D. is a Registered Counsellor and Clinical Sexologist who specializes in offering therapy to individuals and couples in cross-cultural relationships. For a complementaryphone assessment of your needs, please call Dr. Faizal at either 604.639.4443 or 604.899.0102. He can also be reached via his private email:

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